See the Love

This is Philadelphia's "Love Park"

I've been wanting to go here for a long time.

Every great skate video that came out of the late 90's and early 2000's had at least one minute worth of footage, from this park alone.

This March,

my buddy Josiah Biles and I are going to Philadelphia to serve in whatever way we can.

We're going to fly up there,

stay there for about 5 days,

and serve everywhere.

Should be gnart.

Let's move on.

Notice: I believe that God is very loving, and loves his people. You and everyone else.

Not all theories about God are accurate,

Not all Christian theories about God are accurate, either.

Here's my issue...

Say there's a pastor preaching about God.

Like,

he's literally preaching about God's personality,

but basing it off of his own opinions.

None of it can really be found in the bible.

He's saying things about God,

then when asked how he came up with that idea,

he says,

"It's common sense..."

Really?

Common sense to who?

People?

plants?

cats?

What is "common sense" when it comes to talking about God?

Because our human understanding of rationality and His are a little different...

People,

as whole,

have a huge problem with making up their own version of God.

I'm included in this...

I was talking about love in this conversation I had with a great man of God.

We both brought up pre-destination.

I know... touchy subject.

I'm not going to get into it,

because I don't really believe it matters,

but I told him I thought that it was possible that God could plan who loves Him and who doesn't without that person having any say in it.

I don't know if it's right or not,

and I don't care either way,

but this guy that I was talking to said that it was ridiculous,

because it's just "common sense" that God would give us the option of loving Him.

Which could be totally true,

I'm not saying it couldn't be,

but i think it's sketchy to say that something is "common sense" when talking about God.

There's the idea that people understand the love of God.

They say they understand His blessings,

and they understand His motives,

and His discipline.

We have no freaking idea how God loves.

Have you ever read Job?

Job is a prime example to the idea that we have no idea how to comprehend God's love.

Job was a really really great guy.

Righteous,

serving,

and very very God fearing.

I'm going to say he was one of the Godlier men in history just from his rap-sheet

And Job is forever known in history as "That guy God screwed over".

God truly loved Job,

but in one day,

God took everything that gave Job any earthly happiness.

Everything.

He basically tortured this guy,

and caused him to want to die.

Job even mentions the idea of God just taking His hand off of his life,

so he can just die and be released from this anguish.

Pretty brutal.

But out of the same mouth that prays for God to kill him,

Job glorifies God and all of His holiness.

Pretty epic.

Do you get that?

Because I don't.

This isn't like spanking your kid because he kicked you or something,

alright?

This is like,

your kid's all grown up,

living a great and respectful life,

they've got a job,

a wife,

a family,

land,

and they love you with all of their heart.

Then one day,

you get them fired,

kill their family,

and destroy the land they own......

.........and they still love you.

Wow.

What beast-mode.

I can't comprehend that kind of love.

It's not rational to show your child that you love them

by destroying everything that they love,

so they realize,

that all they need,

is you.

That's ridiculous.

That kind of love,

is straight up impossible to comprehend.

Because it sounds evil, right?

It sounds cruel...

but God loves us.

He loves his people.

He loves you.

He has shown me time and time again,

and His Word shows it as well.

Job is the story of a man's ridiculous love,

for a ridiculously loving God.

Job is also the story,

of a man who came to the harsh realization,

that God is all he needs.

Absolutely all he needs.

That's crazy talk man.

And that's something that you can't explain through "common sense" or "rationality"

I'm sorry if anything I said up there was offensive to anyone, or made anyone question God's love. His love is real, and it's beautiful, but don't try to think you understand it just because you think you're smart. I don't think the kind of love mentioned in the bible, is a love that anyone, including myself, can ever truly figure out here on earth.

"Less of Me...

This is my buddy Bryan.
Bryan has tattoos.
Every time I'm around this guy,
I crave getting one.
All of his are ridiculously rad.
He's got the one up there that says "Less of Me",
and another one on the back of his left calf that says "I'm Not Mine" in Goosebumps font.
These are my favorite.

I remember during Super Summer,

I was studying through 1st Corinthians.
In 1st Cor. 8:13 Paul says,

"Therefore,if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall."

I thought about this idea.
I've been a "nice guy" before.
I've given extra money that I had to a person in need.
I've given people rides home whenever I didn't have much to do.
I've even gotten up early in the morning for something whenever I'd had a great night sleep and was fully awake.

Paul probably really liked meat.
I'm going to guess this dude used meat in his example because it was something that he cherished eating.
I wasn't like he could just go to Rib Crib and grab some brisket whenever he wanted.
Giving up eating meat would be something that he hated,
but he would sacrifice meat,
if it would ease somebody's life.
He would do it,
if that person would grow closer to knowing Christ from him doing so.

Jesus Christ became a servant for me.
The guy came from being exalted and praised in a kingdom,
to mocked and killed as a hobo here on Earth.
My life has been bought.
I've been made new.
I have been this way long enough to know that my life is not about my wants and needs,
but my purpose is to serve others.
I'm never going to be that Super Christian,
but I think its good to strive towards something.
Jesus was the kind of guy who was always striving to make Himself less,
so that God would become more.
What a beast.


I was dead then alive, She was like wine turned to water then turned back to wine; You can pour us out, we won't mind, As scratch around the mouth of the glass, "Our lives our not our own."

...More of You."

Why Would You Care...

About what music I've been listening to lately? Well, you probably don't. But you've been suckered too far into this blog.

Sometimes you buy an album,
listen to it until it drives you crazy,
wait a month,
then bring it back,
and it's just as good as the day you got it.
Sometimes you get an album,
and it's what you've been looking for in music all this time.
You'll be listening to that jam until you die.
Sometimes you listen to music that's a little older,
or you've been listening to it for a while,
and it just doesn't matter,
the music doesn't grow old.
Why?
Why is music so great?




Who cares...?

The Rocketboys' "20,000 Ghosts". Besides having the cleanest sound on any album I've come across in a long while, The Rocketboys have stepped up their game lyrically and melodically. The song "We Are A Lighthouse" deals with being the light of the world, as well as being individual safe-havens for those who are hurting. They're mid-way songs are full of noises that completely fall into place with each other. It's really amazing how well each song is put together. The guitar parts don't make sense, and I don't understant how Brandon Kinder can be such a good vocalist. I'm not sure if P. Ellis recorded every drum part, but it doesn't matter, the drums are still my favorite part about this band. An original album, and it streams across many moods.


Wilco's "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot". I owe it to Chris Sweeney for the reason this album ever came onto my iPod. He took me to see them in OKC during the summer and I couldn't understand why I hadn't listened to it before. It also went along perfectly while I read Don Miller's Blue Like Jazz book. The music is extremely light feeling. This album literally makes a sunny day feel warmer, and "War On War" is the soundtrack for any person who's on their way to accomplishing something. "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart" has a wicked simple but perfectly fitting drum part. The album is just so happy, and depressing at the same time. It gives you a good medium. You're day just seems to run a little cleaner with it in your head.


Explosions In The Sky's "The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place". This it music. This album is what I think music is all about. Like, Hammock, this band is just one of those bands that you could play while writing papers, or doing a quiet time, or just relaxing or something. The guitar parts are ridiculously simple, but so simple in that it's genius. Any novice player could've recorded this album's guitar parts, but UGH! Incredible. For the past 2 weeks I've been blasting this album as I walk in between classes. No lyrics, and it never gets too noisy. The music is a collection of amazing melodies that put me to shame whenever I try copying their style with a looper. Ambient-styled music is the new "thing", man. I swear. Their NPR show is really good too if you find the free podcast on iTunes. Listen to "Your Hand In Mine". You'll dig it.

MewithoutYou's "It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All A Dream! It's Alright!". You really have to not be picky about music to listen to this album. Aaron Weiss is just a weird guy, alright, there's no getting past it, but every lyric is poetry at it's finest. The music is oddly structured and complicated but it's just always perfect and fitting. My favorite jam is "Every Thought A Thought Of You", which also happens to be the first track, opens up the audience to how the rest of the album will go. "Alright, this is going to get weird, but it's going to be really good, so let's just keep it running." The track is my newest favorite song to worship to. It's a much more simplified version of everything I'm always thinking about when praising. Freakin' awesome. Fact: Micheal Weiss has the best guitar sound of all time, and Rickie Mazzotta is a close second on my list of favorite drummers. Each of them has their own style. You're able to tell when Micheal is on his A-Game, because that's when he starts to "Reverse Wah" his solos. The guy's good.

Thank you God, for allowing music to be a part of my life.
You've made it well.
Thank you Jesus for saving me.
Thank you for making people on this earth to entertain me between classes,
or in the car,
at home,
on the floor,
in my beanbag chair,
on a futon,
while riding my bike,
while I'm reading your holy Word.
I pray for all people who read this,
and that you bless their day.
Thanks for running this show.

It's been a while...

This is the band "Staind".


They suck.
Let's move on.

I haven't been in the blogging mood in a while.
or,
i have,
but no one would care to read what's been tossing around in my head.
For the past month or so,
I've been this bitter person.
All angry at everyone and everything.
This is not the normal me.
This is not the right me.
I'm pretty sure it started,
whenever I was faced with a problem,
and I chose to shun God from it.
I told God,
"No really, I've got this one. You don't know what I'm going through, and I don't think you'll really be of much help. Just sit back and feed some orphans or something."
I kind of took this approach towards everybody I know.
I looked at everyone and said,
"Nope, you're of no help. You have got no idea. You pretty much suck. No thanks. Goodbye."

Now, the pickle I'm in has kind of happened before.
It's a standard procedure of growing up,
and the last time I dealt with something like this was in the 9th grade,
whenever I realized I needed God in my life,
because I couldn't handle trying to control things,
and this led to me figuring out that I needed Christ.
But alas,
I come back to this place,
this time with a new outlook on life,
and things pretty much repeat themselves.
I look at the situation,
I think I've got it covered,
then oh no,
I freak out whenever I realize I don't.
I don't have this covered...
Things aren't going my way...
I'm not in control...

It took me a while before I told somebody that I needed help.
Whenever I did,
that person pointed me to God.
They reminded me that I've never been in control here.
And since God has,
He's never turned his back on me,
or dropped me through His almighty and probably very large fingers.
He's never forgotten about my situation then later said, "Whoops I must've screwed up."
He's been in control the whole time,
but because I've never looked up from the hole I was in,
I couldn't see him.

There's a story in Luke 7 about a woman who's grieving the loss of her son.
She's walking,
and a crowd of bitter and depressed people are following her.
At the same time,
Jesus is walking,
and there's a crowd of stoked out people following him.
These two meet.
Jesus comes to up to this woman,
He has compassion for her trouble,
and says,
"Do not weep".
The poor woman has lost her son,
and what Jesus says is... don't cry.

Now,
I don't think this is biblical,
but I always picture the woman looking down.
Walking in her grief.
Unable to look up and see Jesus for herself.
Jesus comes to her,
and tells her that she has no need to feel this grief,
because He's there.
and not only is He just some super nice guy,
He's freakin' Jesus.
The 2nd out of the Holy Trinity.
The living Word of the one and truly powerful creator God.
The Savior of all things suck.
That stretches from a break up,
to losing your car keys,
to the loss of a loved one,
to hitting your head while getting into your car,
to losing your job,
to losing your car,
to having financial struggles,
to having self-confidence struggles,
to breaking your pinky toe,
to being burdened for orphans,
to wanting to die.
God is the provider of comfort,
and the Savior for all.

I sent out a mass text to selected friends of mine the other night.
I told them I needed prayer.
They prayed,
and I could feel God work in my soul as I sat on my futon watching The Office.
It-sadly-amazed me.
Prayer works too, you guys.

I Swear That I Don't Have A Gun

This is Kurt Cobain.
Until his death in 1994,
he was the lead singer for the grunge band Nirvana.
He hung around the Seattle area a lot,
and Nirvana helped to create an entire genre of music.
I'm not the biggest fan of Nirvana,
and I don't listen to their music,
but I think Kurt said a few good things in some of his songs.

So I've been in the Seattle area for about a week now.
I've been able to hang out with many a great amount of people.
The atmosphere up here is one that I marvel at.
For those of you who don't know,
Washington is one of the most 'unchurched' states in the nation,
and by that I don't mean that there aren't a lot of church "buildings",
even though that's true,
there aren't,
but that Christianity is not a part of culture up here.
It's not real to a lot of people.
In Oklahoma, Christianity is almost just a part of everyday living.
On your way to work,
you may pass at least 5 churches,
or see a sign with a verse on it,
or see a 'Jesus fish' on the backs of many many cars.
I thank God for that.
As much as it irritates me sometimes,
that Christianity can be taken lightly with some people,
I'm happy to know that where I live,
people are able to hear about the risen Savior.

I had a conversation with my new friend Kylee tonight.
She was telling me that she had just accepted Christ,
and I couldn't have been more excited for her.
She was telling me that she did it because she realized that she could accept Christ,
and still be messed up.
At first I thought,
"Yeah... duh..."
but she didn't know,
and she's not dumb,
so maybe this means that a lot of people don't know,
and even if they do,
I think we should all be reminded of that amazingly gracious fact.
She was thrilled to know that God would take her,
even though she had problems,
even though she had struggles that she was not in any hurry to get rid of,
even though she didn't want to dress a certain way on Sunday,
or become some weird religious 'nerd'.
I remember whenever it really hit me that God would take me as I was.
I remember that I thought,
"that's what I've been wanting to hear all along."
I believed in God,
and in Christ,
but not in religion.
Not in made-up rules .
I didn't believe that Jesus was mad at me because I chose not to wear a collared shirt on Sundays,
or that he hated me whenever I listened to Modest Mouse in my car.
I just wanted to get to know Him,
without Him freakin' yelling at me all of the time.
I just wanted to read my bible,
and know this 'grace' everyone was talking about,
and feel what it feels like to have the Holy Spirit enter you,
without getting tripped out on for something I didn't understand.
And what I realized was,
that God takes people like that all the time,
and He always has.
Whenever I found out what kind of person Paul (read Acts 2 and 3) had been,
I thought,
dude,
I'm covered.
Paul never saw Jesus in His physical form on Earth.
He was a Jew.
Like a super Jew,
above in his Jewish faith more than anyone around his age group.
He murdered Christians.
He hated their cause.
Paul also wrote like 3/4's of the New Testament after his experience with Christ on a dirt road.
The guy had a radical change,
and started churches all over Asia Minor.
But Paul was messed up.
Seriously messed up.
He wasn't some deep-voiced white-guy in a $2000 three piece suit and a show on TBN.
But if you read about his work,
he was gnarly.

God took this Christian-murdering super-Jew,
and made him into a beast.
That's what he does with people.
He takes the abusers,
the sex-addicts,
the druggies,
the people who have a deep hate for other people,
the people who've failed at everything they've ever tried,
the people who can't seem to get a date,
the people who've never read their bible and have to look at the table of contents during church,
the people who don't really know if they believe all of what the bible says,
the people who really hate TBN,
the people who had really jacked up childhoods,
the people who don't want to quit doing what they know is wrong.
Are you getting it?
Are you understanding that God does not care that you're pretty messed up?
All he wants to do is love you.
He wants you to love Him,
and know Him.
To come to Him as you are.
No prep-time,
or getting fancied-up,
or dusting off your bible.
Come to Him as the messed up sinner you've always heard you were.
If you have a pride issue,
boast to God.
You're dealing with a lust issue,
tell God that you can't look away sometimes.
He's able to take that kind of talk.
Here's the thing...
you get to know Christ,
what He's done and all that,
and you begin to change the way you act,
the way you talk,
freaking everything,
just because Christ is in you.
Those problems that you have,
begin to start being dealt with because Christ is physically working in you,
changing you from the inside out.
It's a great thing guys,
don't get freaked out that God's 'forcing you to change' or anything like that,
because He is just miraculously just doing what you've asked.
I choose to give things up now,
only so that I may know Christ more.
and it's awesome.

The times when Christ has really worked in me,
has been when I was totally straight up with Him.
Whenever I said,
'look man,
I want to know you,
I want to follow what you tell me to do,
but this is so sketchy to me.
I don't feel like reading,
I don't feel like giving things up.
Please help me out, man.
Because this whole Christianity thing sucks as of right now.'
God can take slang,
even curse words if need be
(oh no, not curse words!).
But a warning,
when He speaks,
He may ask you to do something.
To go somewhere.
To give something up.
To take something on.
Be prepared for it,
and definitely accept it.
Christ wants you to come as you are,
and do work for His Kingdom.
Read the bible,
it's all Truth.
All of it.

Pray for my new friends Kylee and Kirstin Meadows.
New believer's can get easily discouraged,
and that sucks bad.
Just go ahead and pray for a revival in Washington while you're at it.
I met some of the best people here.
I can't name all of the names,
but I'm going to miss every single one of them,
and their passion for Christ.

Listen to this and remember that you suck just as bad as everyone else,
and that that really doesn't matter to God.