It's been a while...

This is the band "Staind".


They suck.
Let's move on.

I haven't been in the blogging mood in a while.
or,
i have,
but no one would care to read what's been tossing around in my head.
For the past month or so,
I've been this bitter person.
All angry at everyone and everything.
This is not the normal me.
This is not the right me.
I'm pretty sure it started,
whenever I was faced with a problem,
and I chose to shun God from it.
I told God,
"No really, I've got this one. You don't know what I'm going through, and I don't think you'll really be of much help. Just sit back and feed some orphans or something."
I kind of took this approach towards everybody I know.
I looked at everyone and said,
"Nope, you're of no help. You have got no idea. You pretty much suck. No thanks. Goodbye."

Now, the pickle I'm in has kind of happened before.
It's a standard procedure of growing up,
and the last time I dealt with something like this was in the 9th grade,
whenever I realized I needed God in my life,
because I couldn't handle trying to control things,
and this led to me figuring out that I needed Christ.
But alas,
I come back to this place,
this time with a new outlook on life,
and things pretty much repeat themselves.
I look at the situation,
I think I've got it covered,
then oh no,
I freak out whenever I realize I don't.
I don't have this covered...
Things aren't going my way...
I'm not in control...

It took me a while before I told somebody that I needed help.
Whenever I did,
that person pointed me to God.
They reminded me that I've never been in control here.
And since God has,
He's never turned his back on me,
or dropped me through His almighty and probably very large fingers.
He's never forgotten about my situation then later said, "Whoops I must've screwed up."
He's been in control the whole time,
but because I've never looked up from the hole I was in,
I couldn't see him.

There's a story in Luke 7 about a woman who's grieving the loss of her son.
She's walking,
and a crowd of bitter and depressed people are following her.
At the same time,
Jesus is walking,
and there's a crowd of stoked out people following him.
These two meet.
Jesus comes to up to this woman,
He has compassion for her trouble,
and says,
"Do not weep".
The poor woman has lost her son,
and what Jesus says is... don't cry.

Now,
I don't think this is biblical,
but I always picture the woman looking down.
Walking in her grief.
Unable to look up and see Jesus for herself.
Jesus comes to her,
and tells her that she has no need to feel this grief,
because He's there.
and not only is He just some super nice guy,
He's freakin' Jesus.
The 2nd out of the Holy Trinity.
The living Word of the one and truly powerful creator God.
The Savior of all things suck.
That stretches from a break up,
to losing your car keys,
to the loss of a loved one,
to hitting your head while getting into your car,
to losing your job,
to losing your car,
to having financial struggles,
to having self-confidence struggles,
to breaking your pinky toe,
to being burdened for orphans,
to wanting to die.
God is the provider of comfort,
and the Savior for all.

I sent out a mass text to selected friends of mine the other night.
I told them I needed prayer.
They prayed,
and I could feel God work in my soul as I sat on my futon watching The Office.
It-sadly-amazed me.
Prayer works too, you guys.