"Less of Me...

This is my buddy Bryan.
Bryan has tattoos.
Every time I'm around this guy,
I crave getting one.
All of his are ridiculously rad.
He's got the one up there that says "Less of Me",
and another one on the back of his left calf that says "I'm Not Mine" in Goosebumps font.
These are my favorite.

I remember during Super Summer,

I was studying through 1st Corinthians.
In 1st Cor. 8:13 Paul says,

"Therefore,if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall."

I thought about this idea.
I've been a "nice guy" before.
I've given extra money that I had to a person in need.
I've given people rides home whenever I didn't have much to do.
I've even gotten up early in the morning for something whenever I'd had a great night sleep and was fully awake.

Paul probably really liked meat.
I'm going to guess this dude used meat in his example because it was something that he cherished eating.
I wasn't like he could just go to Rib Crib and grab some brisket whenever he wanted.
Giving up eating meat would be something that he hated,
but he would sacrifice meat,
if it would ease somebody's life.
He would do it,
if that person would grow closer to knowing Christ from him doing so.

Jesus Christ became a servant for me.
The guy came from being exalted and praised in a kingdom,
to mocked and killed as a hobo here on Earth.
My life has been bought.
I've been made new.
I have been this way long enough to know that my life is not about my wants and needs,
but my purpose is to serve others.
I'm never going to be that Super Christian,
but I think its good to strive towards something.
Jesus was the kind of guy who was always striving to make Himself less,
so that God would become more.
What a beast.


I was dead then alive, She was like wine turned to water then turned back to wine; You can pour us out, we won't mind, As scratch around the mouth of the glass, "Our lives our not our own."

...More of You."

Why Would You Care...

About what music I've been listening to lately? Well, you probably don't. But you've been suckered too far into this blog.

Sometimes you buy an album,
listen to it until it drives you crazy,
wait a month,
then bring it back,
and it's just as good as the day you got it.
Sometimes you get an album,
and it's what you've been looking for in music all this time.
You'll be listening to that jam until you die.
Sometimes you listen to music that's a little older,
or you've been listening to it for a while,
and it just doesn't matter,
the music doesn't grow old.
Why?
Why is music so great?




Who cares...?

The Rocketboys' "20,000 Ghosts". Besides having the cleanest sound on any album I've come across in a long while, The Rocketboys have stepped up their game lyrically and melodically. The song "We Are A Lighthouse" deals with being the light of the world, as well as being individual safe-havens for those who are hurting. They're mid-way songs are full of noises that completely fall into place with each other. It's really amazing how well each song is put together. The guitar parts don't make sense, and I don't understant how Brandon Kinder can be such a good vocalist. I'm not sure if P. Ellis recorded every drum part, but it doesn't matter, the drums are still my favorite part about this band. An original album, and it streams across many moods.


Wilco's "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot". I owe it to Chris Sweeney for the reason this album ever came onto my iPod. He took me to see them in OKC during the summer and I couldn't understand why I hadn't listened to it before. It also went along perfectly while I read Don Miller's Blue Like Jazz book. The music is extremely light feeling. This album literally makes a sunny day feel warmer, and "War On War" is the soundtrack for any person who's on their way to accomplishing something. "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart" has a wicked simple but perfectly fitting drum part. The album is just so happy, and depressing at the same time. It gives you a good medium. You're day just seems to run a little cleaner with it in your head.


Explosions In The Sky's "The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place". This it music. This album is what I think music is all about. Like, Hammock, this band is just one of those bands that you could play while writing papers, or doing a quiet time, or just relaxing or something. The guitar parts are ridiculously simple, but so simple in that it's genius. Any novice player could've recorded this album's guitar parts, but UGH! Incredible. For the past 2 weeks I've been blasting this album as I walk in between classes. No lyrics, and it never gets too noisy. The music is a collection of amazing melodies that put me to shame whenever I try copying their style with a looper. Ambient-styled music is the new "thing", man. I swear. Their NPR show is really good too if you find the free podcast on iTunes. Listen to "Your Hand In Mine". You'll dig it.

MewithoutYou's "It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All A Dream! It's Alright!". You really have to not be picky about music to listen to this album. Aaron Weiss is just a weird guy, alright, there's no getting past it, but every lyric is poetry at it's finest. The music is oddly structured and complicated but it's just always perfect and fitting. My favorite jam is "Every Thought A Thought Of You", which also happens to be the first track, opens up the audience to how the rest of the album will go. "Alright, this is going to get weird, but it's going to be really good, so let's just keep it running." The track is my newest favorite song to worship to. It's a much more simplified version of everything I'm always thinking about when praising. Freakin' awesome. Fact: Micheal Weiss has the best guitar sound of all time, and Rickie Mazzotta is a close second on my list of favorite drummers. Each of them has their own style. You're able to tell when Micheal is on his A-Game, because that's when he starts to "Reverse Wah" his solos. The guy's good.

Thank you God, for allowing music to be a part of my life.
You've made it well.
Thank you Jesus for saving me.
Thank you for making people on this earth to entertain me between classes,
or in the car,
at home,
on the floor,
in my beanbag chair,
on a futon,
while riding my bike,
while I'm reading your holy Word.
I pray for all people who read this,
and that you bless their day.
Thanks for running this show.

It's been a while...

This is the band "Staind".


They suck.
Let's move on.

I haven't been in the blogging mood in a while.
or,
i have,
but no one would care to read what's been tossing around in my head.
For the past month or so,
I've been this bitter person.
All angry at everyone and everything.
This is not the normal me.
This is not the right me.
I'm pretty sure it started,
whenever I was faced with a problem,
and I chose to shun God from it.
I told God,
"No really, I've got this one. You don't know what I'm going through, and I don't think you'll really be of much help. Just sit back and feed some orphans or something."
I kind of took this approach towards everybody I know.
I looked at everyone and said,
"Nope, you're of no help. You have got no idea. You pretty much suck. No thanks. Goodbye."

Now, the pickle I'm in has kind of happened before.
It's a standard procedure of growing up,
and the last time I dealt with something like this was in the 9th grade,
whenever I realized I needed God in my life,
because I couldn't handle trying to control things,
and this led to me figuring out that I needed Christ.
But alas,
I come back to this place,
this time with a new outlook on life,
and things pretty much repeat themselves.
I look at the situation,
I think I've got it covered,
then oh no,
I freak out whenever I realize I don't.
I don't have this covered...
Things aren't going my way...
I'm not in control...

It took me a while before I told somebody that I needed help.
Whenever I did,
that person pointed me to God.
They reminded me that I've never been in control here.
And since God has,
He's never turned his back on me,
or dropped me through His almighty and probably very large fingers.
He's never forgotten about my situation then later said, "Whoops I must've screwed up."
He's been in control the whole time,
but because I've never looked up from the hole I was in,
I couldn't see him.

There's a story in Luke 7 about a woman who's grieving the loss of her son.
She's walking,
and a crowd of bitter and depressed people are following her.
At the same time,
Jesus is walking,
and there's a crowd of stoked out people following him.
These two meet.
Jesus comes to up to this woman,
He has compassion for her trouble,
and says,
"Do not weep".
The poor woman has lost her son,
and what Jesus says is... don't cry.

Now,
I don't think this is biblical,
but I always picture the woman looking down.
Walking in her grief.
Unable to look up and see Jesus for herself.
Jesus comes to her,
and tells her that she has no need to feel this grief,
because He's there.
and not only is He just some super nice guy,
He's freakin' Jesus.
The 2nd out of the Holy Trinity.
The living Word of the one and truly powerful creator God.
The Savior of all things suck.
That stretches from a break up,
to losing your car keys,
to the loss of a loved one,
to hitting your head while getting into your car,
to losing your job,
to losing your car,
to having financial struggles,
to having self-confidence struggles,
to breaking your pinky toe,
to being burdened for orphans,
to wanting to die.
God is the provider of comfort,
and the Savior for all.

I sent out a mass text to selected friends of mine the other night.
I told them I needed prayer.
They prayed,
and I could feel God work in my soul as I sat on my futon watching The Office.
It-sadly-amazed me.
Prayer works too, you guys.

I Swear That I Don't Have A Gun

This is Kurt Cobain.
Until his death in 1994,
he was the lead singer for the grunge band Nirvana.
He hung around the Seattle area a lot,
and Nirvana helped to create an entire genre of music.
I'm not the biggest fan of Nirvana,
and I don't listen to their music,
but I think Kurt said a few good things in some of his songs.

So I've been in the Seattle area for about a week now.
I've been able to hang out with many a great amount of people.
The atmosphere up here is one that I marvel at.
For those of you who don't know,
Washington is one of the most 'unchurched' states in the nation,
and by that I don't mean that there aren't a lot of church "buildings",
even though that's true,
there aren't,
but that Christianity is not a part of culture up here.
It's not real to a lot of people.
In Oklahoma, Christianity is almost just a part of everyday living.
On your way to work,
you may pass at least 5 churches,
or see a sign with a verse on it,
or see a 'Jesus fish' on the backs of many many cars.
I thank God for that.
As much as it irritates me sometimes,
that Christianity can be taken lightly with some people,
I'm happy to know that where I live,
people are able to hear about the risen Savior.

I had a conversation with my new friend Kylee tonight.
She was telling me that she had just accepted Christ,
and I couldn't have been more excited for her.
She was telling me that she did it because she realized that she could accept Christ,
and still be messed up.
At first I thought,
"Yeah... duh..."
but she didn't know,
and she's not dumb,
so maybe this means that a lot of people don't know,
and even if they do,
I think we should all be reminded of that amazingly gracious fact.
She was thrilled to know that God would take her,
even though she had problems,
even though she had struggles that she was not in any hurry to get rid of,
even though she didn't want to dress a certain way on Sunday,
or become some weird religious 'nerd'.
I remember whenever it really hit me that God would take me as I was.
I remember that I thought,
"that's what I've been wanting to hear all along."
I believed in God,
and in Christ,
but not in religion.
Not in made-up rules .
I didn't believe that Jesus was mad at me because I chose not to wear a collared shirt on Sundays,
or that he hated me whenever I listened to Modest Mouse in my car.
I just wanted to get to know Him,
without Him freakin' yelling at me all of the time.
I just wanted to read my bible,
and know this 'grace' everyone was talking about,
and feel what it feels like to have the Holy Spirit enter you,
without getting tripped out on for something I didn't understand.
And what I realized was,
that God takes people like that all the time,
and He always has.
Whenever I found out what kind of person Paul (read Acts 2 and 3) had been,
I thought,
dude,
I'm covered.
Paul never saw Jesus in His physical form on Earth.
He was a Jew.
Like a super Jew,
above in his Jewish faith more than anyone around his age group.
He murdered Christians.
He hated their cause.
Paul also wrote like 3/4's of the New Testament after his experience with Christ on a dirt road.
The guy had a radical change,
and started churches all over Asia Minor.
But Paul was messed up.
Seriously messed up.
He wasn't some deep-voiced white-guy in a $2000 three piece suit and a show on TBN.
But if you read about his work,
he was gnarly.

God took this Christian-murdering super-Jew,
and made him into a beast.
That's what he does with people.
He takes the abusers,
the sex-addicts,
the druggies,
the people who have a deep hate for other people,
the people who've failed at everything they've ever tried,
the people who can't seem to get a date,
the people who've never read their bible and have to look at the table of contents during church,
the people who don't really know if they believe all of what the bible says,
the people who really hate TBN,
the people who had really jacked up childhoods,
the people who don't want to quit doing what they know is wrong.
Are you getting it?
Are you understanding that God does not care that you're pretty messed up?
All he wants to do is love you.
He wants you to love Him,
and know Him.
To come to Him as you are.
No prep-time,
or getting fancied-up,
or dusting off your bible.
Come to Him as the messed up sinner you've always heard you were.
If you have a pride issue,
boast to God.
You're dealing with a lust issue,
tell God that you can't look away sometimes.
He's able to take that kind of talk.
Here's the thing...
you get to know Christ,
what He's done and all that,
and you begin to change the way you act,
the way you talk,
freaking everything,
just because Christ is in you.
Those problems that you have,
begin to start being dealt with because Christ is physically working in you,
changing you from the inside out.
It's a great thing guys,
don't get freaked out that God's 'forcing you to change' or anything like that,
because He is just miraculously just doing what you've asked.
I choose to give things up now,
only so that I may know Christ more.
and it's awesome.

The times when Christ has really worked in me,
has been when I was totally straight up with Him.
Whenever I said,
'look man,
I want to know you,
I want to follow what you tell me to do,
but this is so sketchy to me.
I don't feel like reading,
I don't feel like giving things up.
Please help me out, man.
Because this whole Christianity thing sucks as of right now.'
God can take slang,
even curse words if need be
(oh no, not curse words!).
But a warning,
when He speaks,
He may ask you to do something.
To go somewhere.
To give something up.
To take something on.
Be prepared for it,
and definitely accept it.
Christ wants you to come as you are,
and do work for His Kingdom.
Read the bible,
it's all Truth.
All of it.

Pray for my new friends Kylee and Kirstin Meadows.
New believer's can get easily discouraged,
and that sucks bad.
Just go ahead and pray for a revival in Washington while you're at it.
I met some of the best people here.
I can't name all of the names,
but I'm going to miss every single one of them,
and their passion for Christ.

Listen to this and remember that you suck just as bad as everyone else,
and that that really doesn't matter to God.

Emo Ethan

This is Emo Philips


He's a stand up comedian,
who has been in movies like UHF and the original Meet the Parents,
and has done voice overs for shows like Home Movies and Dr. Katz.
He's extremely funny,
and besides the first word in his name,
he has nothing to do with this blog.









I was reading Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller a couple of weeks ago,
when I came across the chapter dealing with the downsides of living alone.
I actually never considered living alone to be a bad thing.
Though I do live with my parents right now,
I keep myself pretty shut up in my room.
I understand that it encourages anti socializing,
but that doesn't really bother me either.
This is why Don thinks living alone is no good;
Don says that while living alone,
you allow life to fall into a schedule.
He compares life to a play.
People get used the the play going the way that they want it to go.
The script has no variables.
Whenever we write the script,
we leave no room for changes.
If someone comes in and interrupts our play's flow,
we become upset.
It's like that guy had no right to do this.
He's ignorant and unaware of how the world is supposed to work,
because we have perfected it by being alone so much.
We haven't allowed our life to be imposed by others.

This would only be a bad thing if the universe were revolving around one person,
and that person was the center of everything.

Everyone knew what that person did and didn't like.

They knew that person's ticks,
and what really sets that peson off.

And if anyone tried to mess with that person,

then everyone would unite in saying that that guy was in the wrong,

and he should know better not to mess with that person.

But what's wrong with this idea is that there is no one person,

and a lot of times,

or at least for people who enjoy being alone,

we believe we are that one person.

That the universe,

in some quirky way,

is supposed to follow our rules.

That people should act like us,

think like us,

respect our boundaries,

tell jokes that we think are funny,

hate the same songs,

love the same lines in movies,

respect the same art,

enjoy the same hobbies,

not call what we do 'weird',

and wear clothing that we would consider cool,

or fashionable or something.

Too bad that's not the case.

Too bad people are people with varied personalities.

I used to hate that.

I used to question why didn't people think like me,
or act like me,

because I thought my ways were flawless.

But thats the thing about enjoying lonesome.
You begin to think that everything you do,

is how everything should be,

and once someone comes in and tries to change that,

it's like blasphemy against your set life.

You know those 'Tapout' shirts?

I hate those.

I used to be bitter against the people in them,

because I just catagorized them.

I put a lable on them.

I hung out with a bunch of guys this past week that watch UFC,

they dig manliness and wrestling and stuff.

I just don't.

I can't stand watching that stuff,

but these guys were pretty cool.

A lot of them were really open about where they were in life,

how it was going and all that,

but they just liked punching faces and stuff.

God calls us to be together

To just love one another.

He wants community within the church.

He doesn't care that you want to have your set of things that you want to do,

because there are people who need you,

they need you to do things for them,

and frankly,

you freakin' need them too.

You can't follow Christ on your own.

No one ever has succesfully.

It's a family matter.

People should have people.

Pastors should lean on other pastors for support.

Bum-looking musicians, should text or call guys who wear Affliction and Ed Hardy t-shirts for advice and prayer requests.

Girls should quit worrying about their friends dating ex-boyfriends,

and lift each other up in prayer.

This isn't your universe.

This isn't even your town,

or community,

or life.

It's God's.

God wants us to help each other out,

and look deeper into the lives of others rather than just judging what they are at face value.

If you ever see me not practicing what I 'preach',

please let me know.

I need people too.

Listen all uh yall, it's a sabotage.

This is my school from Super Summer
It was pretty gnarly in this school. Everyone in the group was extremely welcoming, and it definitely challenged me. If you've ever wondered about Super Summer, or if you're sort of wanting to go but don't know the details, hit me up. It's rad......... now on to the blog.

so yes,
i went to a Christian leadership camp,
and I got all hyped up on Jesus,
then I was released back into the wild.
well man,
if you've been to any camp like that at all,
you know how easy it is for your passion to just evaporate,
and soon,
you're left wondering what God even showed you last week.
well,
this year was a little different for me.
you see,
on friday as we were coming back,
man i was tired,
but my dear friend adam called and asked me a few buddies to play music at his falls creek cabin that night,
so it's like, "heck yeah man"
I had the ACT in the morning,
but i'm thinking,
eh whatever...

I drive down there,
and on arrival,
i see that my tire,
is totally flat.
after the my friends and I finished our set,
we get some air in it,
and i started driving back,
but of course,
it goes flat once again.
"I know! How about the donut?!"
that goes on,
then it's flat too.
i drive it as far as i can go,
and by now i'm in Sulfur,
which... is not Ada.
a cop pulls me over,
and tells me,
"Man, that things going to catch on fire." since no one was in any position to just come pick me up, he said, "Yeah, just go up to Wal-Mart and spend the night in your car."
I was bummed.
Mom's bumming because the ACT's tomorrow.
things aren't lookin' so hot,
but i'm cranking up my Hillsong United album,
and i'm telling God,
"Alright man, i get this game you're playing. This sucks, but i feel ya."

A couple of hours go by.
I've made myself a little habitat inside of the entrance of Wal-Mart,
near the vending machines and the coin sucking vendors with giant bubble gum balls,
and sticky hands.
I'm just kind of laying on the ground.
I've been calling people,
trying to get home in any way.
This wal-mart woman comes up to me while im on the phone,
and the person i'm on the phone with,
is just annoying me.
not because they were being stupid,
but because I was sleepy,
it was late,
i was supposed to be in ada at least 3 hours ago,
the ACT sucks.
and my tires flat,
that sucks in general.
i was simply being a baby
and the wal-mart woman sees that through my actions.
She decides that she's not even going to deal with my ridiculous attitude,
which i don't blame her,
because she obviously figured i would treat her as badly as i treated the person on the phone.
That bummed me out, man.
I went in and apologized.
She said it was alright, and smiled at me.
I'm guessing not a lot of people apologize for their actions in wal-mart at 2 o'clock in the morning.
But I felt like such a punk.
After that point I constantly reminded myself,
"You are representing Christ in a frustrating time. Buck up."

There's this guy who works in Wal-Mart.
His name is James.
James,
honestly,
doesn't seem like much,
like importance wise.
He looks harmless,
and he's just kind of an average guy.
James turned out to be my gift from God.
I tell this guy what the situation is.
I'm stranded,
I have no money,
all that jazz.
By now I've gotten a hold of my dad.
And James tells me that if my dad will buy a gift card from the wal mart in mid west city,
then they can work some kind of voodoo magic,
and get me a tire.
That works.
James then,
not only helps me get a tire,
but this guy goes to the Tire and Lube shop or whatever it is in the back,
opens it up,
turns all the equipment on,
puts the tire on my wheel,
balances it,
grabs a jack,
and helps me put it on my car.
like,
makes everything perfect for me.
it was insane how nice this guy was.
he didn't have to do any of that,
especially putting the tire on.
it actually took a while for him to get all the equipment set up.

Not everybody lucks out like this.
i get that.
sometimes,
you get stranded in a crappy town,
and you remain stranded in that crappy town.
sometimes,
the people at wal-mart are the biggest jerks,
and really,
no one cares if you get home or not.
but I knew that God,
on this particular night,
was saying,
"Ethan, just be obedient. Just relax and do what I say."
He was faithful.
He was very generous to me.
I honestly believe that there was a being that was trying to destroy every bit of faith that I had gained during the past week.
I was being sabotaged
That he was trying to get me to stress and lose hope.
I was so ticked,
and tired,
and freakin' tripping out,
but I just kept hearing,
"You are representing Christ. Be obedient. He delivers hope, man."
It won't always work out the way I want it to,
it's going to suck sometimes,
like a lot,
but it will work out the way He wants it to.

Think about this,
"This is God's plan in His universe,
you may have a better plan,
but you don't have a universe."

Listen to Lecrae, the Rebel album.
Listen to the One Prayer podcasts from Lifechurch.tv
"You pray for me, I'll pray for you.
That's what's up."

The Desert Song

Incredible.

The dryest state in all the land

So it's been raining here in Ada, Oklahoma for a while now...
and I'm getting sick of it.
I don't mean to just be a negative Nathan and complain about all this wetness,
but dag nabbit,
I can't do much outside whenever the streets are all wet.
Who wants to build an indoor skatepark?

The infant over to my left is Colsen.
He's awesome.

So my family recently came into possesion of a 4 month old baby.
Her name is Amy, and she's the biological sister of my other adopted sisters.
She's... a baby.
I'm not used to dealing with babies.
Last night,
I was working on a school project,
and she cried.
I get it, okay?
She's a baby... therefore she also cries a lot,
but dang it,
I've never had to deal with this kind of business before.

It made me wonder how I'll be as a father.
I'm lazy,
and I often put sleep at a high priority in my life,
but what I'm hoping,
is that whenever/if ever I have a child of my own,
I will have so much love for that human being,
that I will be excited every time the child wakes me up,
just so I can hold it again.
I don't know if this is what happens in real life or not,
but I know that it happens whenever we cry out to God.

I know a couple of friends that really didn't have too great of a weekend.
They are awesome people,
and they also love God with a deep passion,
but I know a couple of them had to beg for forgiveness, like we all should do from time to time,
and thought, "God is so sick of me asking for forgiveness. He's just fed up with me."
I can understand being sick of the peaks and valleys that come naturally with following God,
but know that God does not grow tired of you running to him.
He wants you,
and if that means you having to leave him for a while,
just to know what his love truly is.

This happens to everyone.

Let's just be real folk,

there's no way to stay within the Godly mindset 24 hours a day,

everyday of the week.

We're just too full of ourselves.

I dig looking at cameras on Ebay more than reading Phillipians quite a lot.

We get tired or something,

so we don't read our bible,

or we don't pray,

or we just don't care about all the daily responsibilities that come with trying to keep the life of the righteous.

But when you choose to come back,

when you choose to get up out of your little hole,

don't think that you are just wasting God's time,

or that He's become angry with you.

Come to him as when a child comes to his loving father.

In Luke 18:17,

Jesus says, "Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

This is what I take from this verse;

Whenever you were a kid,

and you did something wrong,

did you ever feel the need to own up to it?

We don't want to,

because we're afraid to disappoint people,

and possibly losing the love we recieve from them

But we know that if we have God,

then there's no way His love can be taken from us.

So that just leaves disappointment,

There was a feeling I had as a little kid,

where whenever i did something wrong,

even though I was ashamed of what I did,

I wanted a fresh slate,

and I wanted to move on from it.

I didn't want it lingering in my mind anymore,

so whenever I felt like this,

I would approach one of my parents or something,

and without any pride in me,

tell them what happened,

ask for forgiveness,

maybe even recieve some discipline or something,

then move on.

It was done.

It wasn't even an issue anymore.

It was out,

and I was sorry for what I'd done.

The pride might be what get's us.

It's like,

if we admit what we did,

and ask for His forgiveness,

then He knows what we've done,

and we don't recieve his blessings.

Here's the problem with that one though,

He already knew.

He knew before we were even thought of in our mother's minds.

Before the universe was set into place.

And he still has blessed us in incredible ways.

If God worked in a way that was like, "You did something bad, something bad will happen to you."

He wouldn't bother waiting until we did it.

He's beyond time,

so to Him it's already happened and everything.

He would just fill our lives with a bunch of crap from beginning to end.

And yeah man,

that happens for sure,

God doesn't make everything comepletely awesome and incredible.

Following God sucks sometimes.

But we know the worth from it.

We know that following Him down that road that may suck really bad,

ends up taking us to a paradise.

So it's us.

Going back to God,

is a choice we make.

Drop that pride man.

Drop that ego about yourself.

It's only holding you back from giving into what he has for you.

Run to Him knowing He's the only way out of this biz that you've got yourself in,

or that the world has shoved into your life.

Don't you know that God is love?

....and so it pours.

I didn't take this picture,
just to let you know,
I cheated this time.
But I wanted this post to focus on the recent fires across Midwest City,
Choctaw,
and wherever else.
My dad and I drove around the outskirts of MWC today in my car.
We drove past the fire damage in a lot of the woodland areas.
There were areas where,
at one time,

you couldn't see five feet into it,
because of all of the trees and what not.
Now there's literally nothing there.
a bunch of skinny sticks coming out of the ground,
and black ash everywhere.
This really wasn't that bad to me,
I mean it sucks that all of those trees are gone,
but it didn't hit my core or anything.
but...

...then we drove to where some of the homes were had burned down in local neighborhoods.
It was pretty insane.
Some houses were burned in rows.
2,
3,
4?
But every now and then you catch a street where it's,
house... house... ashes... house house house.

"Wait,
what is that?
The fire doesn't even touch their house,
but mine is totally gone?"

That would be my reaction.
I might even go as far to try and question God's will.
Something like,

"What did I do?
Did I make you mad this week?
Is it because I chose not to read,
Or pray,
or something??
Didn't I do what I was asked?
I don't deserve this!"

I find myself,
slipping into thoughts like these once in a while.
Every now and then,
when something goes downward for me,
I'll look up,
and ask why.
Do you guys do that?
Sometimes I'll even catch myself not sinning,
just so God will allow me to have a good time at church,
or so that He won't rain on my parade during the day or something.
But that's not really what God's about.

You remember the points you used to get,
in school,
in church,
whatever,
when you were a kid?
Like,
"do this right,
something awesome happens to you.
do it wrong,
and you get a butt-whoopin'
along with getting a horrible day.
go!"
This whole thing jacked us up, man.
Now our God is a God of works.
We don't care about knowing God,
we just want to be close enough to him so that if suffering comes our way,
we think we're chill because we read our bible,
or because we prayed.
Then,
if something bad happens to us,
we sometimes think that we must've done something to make Him angry.
"Oh man, God must hate me,
my life has sucked for the past few months.
He hates me,
I don't know what I did,
but He's not happy about it."
Do you remember that God is love,
and Love keeps no record of wrong?

Now this is true,
you try to grow closer to God,
you might have some tools to fight off the basics of trouble,
but life will still sting you sometime.
You won't be able to just stand up right after you've taken a spill.
Life will take you out sometimes.
God provides a hope,
and a comfort.
My heart goes out to those who lost family members,
home,
pets,
anything else,
to the fire.
God provides a rain.
He is not cursing you.
You are not getting a cold shoulder from our creator.
Whoever you are,
I have no idea what kind of anguish you're going through,
and I'm sorry if I presented this post as if I did.
I meant nothing by it,
because I'm not strong,
my faith is worthless,
but someday,
whenever life tackles everything I have lived for,
for so long,
I want to look up at God,
and not ask,

"What'd I do?"

but I want to look up at God,
and ask,

"What are You going to do?"

Fully believing in his will.

The rain's on it's way to put out those burning flames.
Look for it.
God has nothing but love for you.
He has purpose for you.
Even if you think you've lost it all.
He doesn't need anything of this world to work His will in you.

Kent Cypert is on drugs.

Not really...
I decided that everytime I post a blog,
I'm going to add in a favorite photo.
This is not to show off,
but I'm hoping this will help me improve later on in the future as a way to look back,
and figure out what I need to work on.
I'm always up for some pointers,
so please tell me
if you think the picture is as worthless as the gum you stepped in today,
and what I can do to fix it up.
Thanks guys.
Now on to the blog.

I figured out a secret.
For some of you,
it's been in your head for years.
Haunting your dreams.
Some of you can get pretty lucky at solving the puzzle,
and have completed it before,
but you want to know how to do it again.
Good thing you chose to read Cheeseburger Jaunt.

Picture this scenario;
You're hungry, right?
you've been working,
exercising,
skateboarding,
loungin',
playing Foosball,
whatever it is that you do.
Your stomach is aching,
but you only have some change.
like a couple of nickels,
quarters,
dimes and stuff.
so you go up to the nearest Taco Bell.
if you think it's gross,
well then you tell that to the starving children.
FACE.

Everyone knows about that little game thing they have.
you drop the coin,
and end up wasting your time.
every now and then catching a burrito or something
but here's the tip;
you drop the coin,
it lands,
now what you need to do is slightly tilt that bizz in the direction you want it to go,
NOT TOO MUCH.
then you take the handle thing that goes through the cylinder,
and kind of make it hop up and down a bit.
that coin will slowly but surely get to the other platform
by way of being bounced.
you have to be careful with this tilting though,
or the coin will fall,
then you have to write me in all sad saying,
"Ethan, your idea didn't work! You have no idea what you're talking about!"
blame Donovan Strain or The Berrics,
okay?
now once you've made it down,
and you've got your food,
get that free cup of water,
and go mingle with some friends.

p.s.
Next thurday,
don't wear shoes.
not to school,
not to work,
not to your friends house,
not while your out walking in an alley way full of broken glass.
here's the why,
you've heard of Toms?
they are encouraging the whole world to go without shoes for one day.
let's do it.
it sounds rad.

Beg God to work in your life,
and He will.
Let Jesus show you love,
and He will.
Ask the Spirit to give you guidance,
and He will.
Keep those eyes open though,
the Trinity might work in some weird ways.

Explain the unexplainable.

Today was supposed to be really busy. I had been stressing out about it for a while, but it turned out to be one that I will put in the "Greats" category. Here's why...


Morning is the most stressful part of my day.
I'm always thinking I'm going to be late with something.
This morning was no different.
Tons of different things fell into a series of unfortunate events.
Mad stressed.

But then...

I drove myself and Josiah Biles to a volley ball tournament in Norman.
I watched a bunch of friends throw every bit of energy that they could muster,
into playing this sport.
it was quite fantastic,
but that's not what made my day.
Afterward,
I went with a few friends to Downtown Oklahoma City,
to watch Collin Lowe and his band
play at a Battle of the Bands.
They did great,
and I got some awesome shots,
but again,
not climax of the day.
All of us,
including the band,
went to Cuppies and Joe's,
which turned out to be my new favorite coffee shop.
Diamond called me,
and I got a chance to pray with him,
but let's keep going,
because that's not it either.

So here it is.
On the ride back to Ada,
Josiah, Bethany Cypert, and myself were in my car.
Josiah and I just randomly started talking theology.
We even discussed things that are a little sketchy with the "religious" world,
and Bethany jumped in.
This turned into a series of conversations that got my blood pumping,
and allowed me to pray with a skip in my stride.
I have know Josiah for a little while,
but until Spring Break,
never talked to the guy about anything I really felt was important.
Bethany,
I have only known for a short while,
but both of them on this night,
turned out to be two of my favorite people to talk with,
and this is why.
Though both are very intelligent,
and have awesome personalities,
people like that are everywhere.
The three of us had talked during spring break at one point,
and it was just so awesome.
I really had never known anything Josiah had gone through in his life,
or what he thought,
and man,
he turned out to be one gnarly human being.
The reason this car ride was so incredible to me,
is because God moved in our conversations.
Each of us felt something awesome that we couldn't explain.
Then we started listening to Lacrae.
Ooooo that did it.
Thanks my homey.
Each of us know that we made a connection because of something that moved in us.
Our conversations were so Godly inspired,
that for me,
it kind of allowed my mind to blow for a little while.
Knowing God,
knowing Jesus,
and knowing the Holy Spirit,
causes you to have moments in your life,
where things go the way they do,
and you just can't explain it.
I have another story involving Chantz Houston and I,
but that's another blog.
Things just happen.
Curtis Lilly would call them "God Things"
you want to call them coincidences,
or chance,
go for it.
I know it's deeper.
I know that coincidences never came so often until I started trying to figure God out.
Now I know what's really happening.
And it's just good.

Thanks for reading.
Listen to Phil Wickham.
He and Charlie Hall are doing a show together soon in OKC.
check it.

Be the change you wish to see in the world

That quote up there is from Ghandi.
if you really want to,
you can buy the Toms with that phrase on it,
or you can just start contributing to society in the same way Jesus and other disciples would.
either way...

There's a place in the downtown slum of OKC called,
The Refuge.
it's a small building that once used to be a crack house.
no more.
you see,
this guy Tim Ulrich,
was called out by God to just go into this area full of the homeless, the broken, the dried out, the washed up, the hurt, the suffering,
and start making a change in their lives.
did it work?
you have no idea...

i discovered this building for the first time,
by complete chance, of God
around sometime in september or something i think.
Curtis Lilly and i had been talking the day before about searching for God's calling.
or purpose or what have you,
last march i went to help the homeless community in San Antonio,
and i wanted to continue something like that in Oklahoma
then the next day i started driving around okc thinking i was heading to the skatepark.
but i saw from the highway,
what looked like a community clean-up project.
so i said, "wow, you couldn't have made it any clearer."
i got down there,
and these people just told me to hop on a mower,
and start mowing the grass on this exit.
i did,
but when they left i was hanging out like,
wait who's mower is this?
i guess everyone that was there had come with a group from school,
or a church or something,
but i had no idea what going on.
i saw this guy on another mower,
i said, "hey man, i'm done with this exit, but i have no idea who this thing belongs to"
he said, "its mine, just follow me"
i follow him over to this sketchy looking white building.
he and i talked for a little while,
then he said something like, "well man you probably need to get back to your group."
i said, "oh no man i came alone. this just seemed like something to do."
he said, "what? okay, come with me. let's talk"
that was tim.
he explained the refuge and what he was there to do.
we talked for a long long time.
and it was incredible.

God opened my eyes and revealed this place.
i rarely go there,
because i'm rarely in the city.
but man,
if it isn't the most amazing place.
everyone there is hardworking.
they are in that building to fulfill a purpose.
the homeless people around them are becoming influenced by their hardwork,
and sometimes,
come around and pick up trash,
or just come in the garage thing to talk to some people,
whom they know will listen.
if you ever get the chance,
check this place out.
they're always doing something in the name of the Lord God out there.
bunch of crazies.
the refuge.

Julien Beever...

is pretty cool.

When it rains... A tribute to Peek

This blog,
as i said in the beginning,
will not always be so positive.
It hasn't been a positive week,
so I don't feel like writing a positive entry
or maybe...

Sunday through monday,
puking and shaking.
Tuesday,
sincerely thought i was going to die during shop class,
then find out I might be failing pre-calculus.
Wednesday,
well they can't all be bad, huh?
although,
i did snap the king-pin in my back truck.
whatever,
it was good.
then today,
i found out that my cat died.
now,
for some people this wouldn't really matter,
but this is my cat.
if you know me very well at all,
you know i love this cat.
she hung out with me all the time.
i would sit outside and chill with her all of the time,
especially after school early in the afternoon.
she was the perfect house animal.
and i actually spent so much time with this creature,
that i understood her personality.

she's actually my sister's cat.
she's been in the family since i was like 7 or something.
so for eleven years,
this cat and i have gotten to know each other.
the last year or so of her life was when i actually enjoyed hanging out with her the most.
i'm fairly anti-social,
but still,
i'm positive that anyone would absolutely love this cat.
i hung out with her more than my own family.
she knew exactly where to sleep on the bed so i wouldn't kick her during the night.
dang.
i was hoping once i moved out,
that she would come with me.
i can't really stand many animals,
but she was amongst the raddest specimens that God has placed on this earth.
i know this sounds really stupid and lame to people,
but i'm really bummed about this,
plus this just being added onto my week,
kind of a double whammy.
this cat won't be forgotten,
because i'm not sure i want to house train a different one,
i don't even want to hang out with a different one.
if i got another cat,
there's no way it would like my choice in music,
or listen to NPR with me.
dang.

well
i'll end this.
i sound whiny.
i know it's "just a cat",
and i know that this isn't the worst thing that will ever happen to me.
God will take care of me through my cat dying,
through whenever the economy shuts down again in 60 years and my retirement gets robbed,
or through when my arms and legs become unusable caused by a freak skee-ball accident.
i loved this freakin' cat.
stay chill Peek

Do as I say, not as I do...

I've known for a while that I wasn't the smartest person,
but this morning,
i took the award for "dumb of the day".
i have a project due today.
i've had about 2 weeks to do it,
but you know,
who needs two weeks whenever you can try to pull an all-nighter,
the night of your birthday,
with No-Doz and a trusty pack of Monster at your side.
This was a mistake.
the project looks horrible.
like a 5th grader has done it
good thing its like a 4-part project,
and this was the first step.
but thats not the worst part of this.
I took a 2 hour power nap.
i've just taken another no-doz recently,
and i've gone through the 3 monsters.
i wake up sweating...
it's only been 15 minutes...
my breathing patterns are freaking out...
and i'm having an anxiety attack...
awesome.

i try getting up because i've got to urinate like no ones business.
i get up,
fall on my desk,
because i happened to pass out right next to it on the floor.
i guess i blacked out,
because the next thing i remember,
i'm in the bathroom,
on the floor sitting next to the tub,
and apparently i've done my business,
because i don't feel the need,
and the toilet is making the "recently flushed" sound.
i try to get up again to make it to my bed.
i make it,
and nausea kicks in.
like literally kicks me in the gut.
more anxiety,
followed by my alarm clock going off,
which means an hour and 45 mins has gone by since i woke up,
and it only feels like it's been five minutes.
what the heck.
i reset the alarm,
and fall back asleep.
alarm goes off again,
so i try to get up.
nausea.
i went to the toilet again,
took care of that,
and laid down next to the tub for a while.
i felt better,
but my heart was still whack.
i couldn't move slowly.
it was all fast motion,
but whenever i was moving,
i felt like puking again.
so i get up,
sat in my chair,
and started writing this post.

Never, ever do this,
sweet children.
this is no way to start any day,
especially not the day after your 18th birthday.
in fact,
this really blows.
no-doz,
is a no,
for the rest of my life.
now i know what mistake i made,
with the monster and all,
but still,
this will not be happening again.
i'm still shaky,
and nauseous.
but i guess i'm going to turn in this crappy project,
and move on with life.
worst morning of my life...
so far...

until the next time i blog.
don't let yourselves over load on caffeine.

one-hour power.

one hour in the morning,
could decide the outcome of your day.
I woke up this morning.
I didn't want to do anything but spend some time with God.
I spent 30 mins reading,
about 15 mins praying,
and 15 mins listening to some Crowder so i could get a little bit of praise in my house.
it wasn't the most amount of time I'd ever spent with Him,
but it did help me get my head focused.
today is saturday.
i could sit around,
or i could live today with a purpose in mind.
which is more God-honoring?
i'm sure a lot of you guys work hard,
don't go out and build a house if your tired.
but, there's a missing part of the puzzle somewhere,
find it.

listen to "O, For A Thousand Tongues To Sing"-david crowder

Windy day today.

freakin' lame.

Genesis

hi.
this is ethan hickerson's blog,
"Cheeseburger Jaunt".
Jerald,
my trust-worthy friend from 7-11,
would like to officially welcome you to this website.
"Hey guys, didn't see you there. My name's Jerald and I'm here to lay down the law on this-here blog.
1. Ethan's not a very consistent guy. This blog may be updated up to 4 times in one day, or he may get caught up in existence and decide not to get on this website for the weeks.
2. This blog will share Ethan's personal thoughts, and opinions. You will have the ability to respond with either positive and negative comments. If you have any thoughts on my notes, feel free to throw them at me.
3. This blog will consist of lots of "God-talk". Ethan is a devout Jesus Christ follower, and will probably mention something that God has revealed to him throughout the days, in his blogs. If you are offended and feel the need to let me know, have at it.
4. Ethan is a pretty boring guy. Don't expect this blog to make you laugh hysterically, wail in depression, or keep your interest for long periods of time. He doesn't do much.
5. Ethan may not like your choice in movies, books, music, shows, fashion, hobbies, relationships, cars, radio stations, or what you do to earn money. He genuinely hopes to not offend anyone, but if he does, he's going to go ahead and apologize even though what will be on here are his actual opinions.

6. Please read this blog. Ethan didn't sign up to do this for absolutely no reason.
By for now folks"-Jerald.

until tomorrow.
dont let your dads eat pie.